I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize