I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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