so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
