I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
wow bdsm is so cute
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
