i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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