I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
