yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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