I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My cat gives me a boner
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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