I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
