I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
