Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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