Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
