Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm too high and old for this...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
