We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
