Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
