i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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