Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize