He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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