did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
