My hair reeks of homosexuality.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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