conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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