he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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