oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize