Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
