They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
