Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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