Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
