She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
