I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
