OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
