You're my little dorito
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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