so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
