they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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