his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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