im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
