peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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