I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
