I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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