Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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