I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
