So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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