saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
did you just send me my own nude
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
