I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
