i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
