I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize