No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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