It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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