Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
