**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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