yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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