did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
