I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize