I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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