just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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