I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
