4 words: hood of his car
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
