you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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