1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
