i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize