i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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