Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
