Can Purell be used as lube?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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