She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
