sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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